JAM'S 35-MINUTE CRAP GAME
The following edited-down transcript from the IRC logs of 16-Aug-2004 (channel: #speccy) is a fine example of how quickly a crap Spectrum game can be produced!
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[21:14] <jim> when are you lazy basts gonna send me some more crap games then?  :P
[21:14] <Jam> jim: i sent you one!
[21:14] <jim> only got 21 - not enough!
[21:14] <jim> yeah you sent me ONE  :P
[21:15] <Jam> yeah, but it was SHITE.
[21:15] <jim> MORE DAMMIT!
[21:17] <Jam> jim: i'll make you one now. it'll be wank though.
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[21:23] <Jam> @ symbol on a speccy keyboard (emulated on Fuse?)
[21:24] <Jam> got it. fucking eyes.
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[21:31] <Jam> um, what's wrong with 110 IF A$ = "" THEN GO TO 110 ELSE GO TO 120
[21:32] <spike1> um.... no ELSE?
[21:33] <fuzzbucket> Yeah, it's not COBOL FFS!
[21:33] <Jam> what's wrong with else?
[21:33] <spike1> it doesn't exist
[21:34] <Jam> it does in every other BASIC i've used since 1981, i'm sure.
[21:34] <spike1> not on the speccy
[21:34] <Jam> i'm sitting here, swearing profusely.
[21:35] <jim> ELSE was very useful in Dragon 32 BASIC  :)
[21:36] <Jam> this game is going to Absolutely brilliant!
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[21:47] <Jam> how do i make it wait for a second or so?
[21:48] <Jam> in speccy basic
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[21:52] <Jam> okay, my game is finished.
[21:53] <Jam> no, i need to save it first.
[21:53] <Jam> blank tape file?
[21:53] <jim> tap is bestest
[21:54] <Jam> i don't know how to make a .tap from Fuse.
[21:54] <jim> no tzx nonsense (unless a z80 snapshot is included too)
[21:54] <Jam> can i make a disk?
[21:54] <sirclive> No you can't, Jam
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[21:57] <Jam> okay, i have a tzx. 
[21:58] <jim> well try sending a tzx AND a z80 then
[21:58] <jim> I want other users without tzx to be able to play them too, basically
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[22:02] <Jam> i'm trying to remember how i made tap files for the homestar runner
[22:03] <Jam> how can i print all my basic out? i can make a tap from that
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[22:06] <jim> groan
[22:07] <jim> it doesn't take lower caps then  :)
[22:07] <jim> good start
[22:07] <jim> oh dear is that it?
[22:07] <jim> so is that it's name then?
[22:07] <jim> Wankity Wank?
[22:07] <Jam> yes
[22:08] <Jam> I'm just making an inlay, jim.
[22:08] <jim> jesus you might've added a few more questions :)
[22:08] <jim> that's PISSPOOR
[22:08] <jim> oh my god
[22:08] <jim> hopefully the inlay will redeem this a bit
[22:08] <jim> still, it's worthy of entry simply cos it takes the piss out of lister
[22:08] <spike1> nope, can't get that first answer
[22:09] <jim> I did first time  :)
[22:09] <spike1> tried all the obvious answers, brain, sex appeal
[22:09] <jim> I typed cock first
[22:09] <jim> then COCK
[22:09] <jim> and lo and behold, I won
[22:09] <jim> WANK also gets a reply it seems
[22:09] <jim> apart from that, nothing
[22:09] <Jam> come on, you asked for gmaes!
[22:09] <Jam> games!
[22:09] <jim> yes, but you might've fleshed it out a bit with some content
[22:09] <jim> fuzz's random slayer generator had almost as much content as this listing
[22:10] <spike1> it's not a game
[22:10] <spike1> it's a single question
[22:10] <spike1> even wwtbam-cheatingbastness edition had more than one question
[22:10] <jim> I am thinking of opening a new category for total throwaway efforts  :)
[22:14] <Jam> i get way too pissed off with speccy basic.
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[22:26] <jim> what's with the low res les?
[22:26] <Jam> blocky look.
[22:26] <jim> ah
[22:26] <jim> hey you nicked the codies thing too  :P
[22:26] <Jam> aye :p
[22:27] <jim> cheeky bast :)
[22:27] <jim> still, glad SOMEone can be bothered to do inlays
[22:27] <jim> no-one else has
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