Willy and the Dodecahedron Credits Jet Set Willy written by Matthew Smith Jet Set Willy Editor written by John Elliott Willy and the Dodecahedron written by Stuart Hill Introduction "I'm thirsty," thought Willy, as he reclined on his four-poster. Sure enough, he had the kind of thirst that would be satisfied only by a bottle of Best Angus Scrimm's Cider. He contemplated heading down to the kitchen to snoop for a bottle, but thought it would be less hassle just to head directly to the Off Licence. As he crossed the bridge, Willy noticed that there was a colossal dodecahedron where the Off Licence usually was. "That's funny," he thought. As he approached, he got caught up in the angles between the pentagonal sides and found himself in the centre of the polytope. There he spied Norman Crocodilidine, the surreal Custodial of the Universe. "Don't worry," laughed Norman, "I'll get you out of here in 12 seconds flat. All you need to do is complete a handful of simple tasks for me." Willy sighed. 1. Easy Peasy "Pathetic!" cried Norman, "This one's no challenge at all. Just a few tick-tock men and some bubble things." Sure enough, Willy saw only a handful of obstacles as he gazed into the adjoining room. But would the remaining challenges be quite so straightforward? 2. Journey to the Chthonian Lair "This looks a bit better," chuckled Norman, "You'll need to pop down those tree roots and take a gander for a big cave. It's stuffed with objects I need, so grab 'em. Oh, and there might be some Chthonians down there." "What are Chthonians?" Willy asked. "Sort of like big worms. Just ignore 'em," Norman replied. Willy was not reassured. 3. Cross the Archipelago "Now," said Norman, twitching slightly, "There are a couple of Jolly Rogers out there who have blatantly stolen some of my gear. So do a bit of island hopping and grab any jewel-encrusted trinkets you come across." Willy gazed eastwards, out across the unplumbed sea. 4. Catalogue Endorian Artifacts "All you need to do for this one is collect some Endorian religious artifacts. Once you've done that, they can be taken to the Crocodilidine Museum of Gold Smelting where they will be catalogued for future generations." "They will be returned to the Endorians, won't they?" Willy queried. "Eventually," said Norman, vaguely. Willy was dubious, but he needed to get out of the Dodecahedron. 5. Red Planet, Yellow Planet "A sad one this," wept Norman, "The Red Planet and the Yellow Planet have been at war for centuries. They keep knocking atom bombs at one another. Jump down the teleports and nick their secret plans. They might try to shoot you as a spy, and there might be a bit of radiation, but you should be dandy." Willy tried to recall if he had life insurance. 6. Escape from Warmditz "Alas, our own war with those terrible Penguins," lamented Norman, "And so many prisoners of war. They say that no one has ever escaped from Warmditz, but I'm afraid that's where you're going next. I'm sure you'll be able to cobble together some kind of an escape kit." Willy felt a twinge from his old war wound, but resolved to soldier on. 7. The Case of the Kidnapped Cat "You still run that dilapidated detective agency, don't you?" asked Norman. Willy nodded. "Well", Norman continued, "Lord and Lady Ding-Dong have mislaid their stupid moggy, probably kidnap, so maybe you could locate it for them." Willy slipped his gumshoes on. 8. Survive the Pagoda of Death "Do you still have the old kung fu grip?" enquired Norman, as he fondled Willy's left hand. "Anyway, up in that pagoda are a stack of eminent masters of different disciplines. You'll need to take them all on if you want to make your way to the top. Goodness knows what's on the highest level, but I'm sure it won't be good." Willy began to wonder who's side Norman was on. 9. Gallery of the Perturbed "Flipping heck," bamboozled Norman, "What's this one all about?" "Surely you should know," Willy fired back, "After all, you created the Dodecahedron, didn't you?" "Me? Create this?" said Norman, perplexed. "Anyway, all these odd paintings cause a terrible confusion in my brain-box. I wouldn't spend too much time in there if I were you." For once, Willy had to agree. 10. Sky Castle "Now some bleeder's orbiting a ruddy great big castle up in the stratosphere!" bellowed Normal, "Get up there, sort it out, sort yourself out, and don't drop off!" Willy gazed up into the sky, and could just make out a tiny spec floating in the blueness. But of course! The bizarre geometry of the Dodecahedron would provide an easy route skyward. 11. Rescue at Ice Station Zodiac "Oh, blimey!" blurted Norman, "A report has just arrived that the Zodiac Arctic Research Center has been waylaid with various explosive novelties. If they pop, years of important scientific discoveries will be lost. You must defeat this Polar-themed sabotage!" Willy gave Norman a quick salute, furtively turning his hat radiator up to 11. 12. The Membrane Willy turned to ask Norman about the final challenge, but there was no one there. As he studied the glistening membranes of the adjoining room, Willy began to think he was near the surface of the Dodecahedron. And that meant the way back home...