HOW TO BE A COMPLETE BASTARD (Virgin Games) Dear Games Player, I am a Complete Bastard and now is your chance to learn how from a real expert. Members of the SPG, elected tory MPs and Astra drivers don't need this. However, if you've always wanted to be the sort of person who loosens the screws from the handles in disabled toilets or sets up a business marketing Space Shuttle Jigsaw Puzzles, this game is just what you're looking for. If you've already read my book carefully then you're well on your way to being a Complete Bastard and if you haven't get out and buy it NOW ... I need the cash. It's basically pretty easy to blag your way into a yuppie party -then all you have to do is make all the invited guests leave and you can have the place to yourself. Of course by then you won't want to stay there because the house will be completely wrecked - but who cares? Yes - that's what being a Complete Bastard is all about. Have fun you half-baked Bastard, Ade SEXY ADE Adrian Edmondson BA(stard) Game design and programming by Sentient Software. Based on the book "How to be a Complete Bastard" (c) 1986 by Adrian Edmondson, Mark Leigh, Mike Lepine. A Virgin Book. SCREEN DISPLAY Thee main display features unique "Bastavision" which allows you to see each room from every angle. The screen is spit in two. Follow your direction using the top section. Left and right take you from side to side and up and down take you to the back and the front of the room respectively. Pressing 1 rotates the view in the top window by 90 degrees. The lower section allows you to watch the activity from another angle. Press 2 to rotate view. This section also displays text when you do something. Bastavision is a little disorientating at first but the secret is to watch your progress on the top section and use the bottom section to view the room from all the other angles, thus revealing any other furniture or doorways within the room so you can investigate everything. To the left you will spot a Weeeometer and Drunkometer. Drinking increases the marker on your Weeeometer and when you hit the top of the scale you'd better go pretty soon, preferably before some dribbly yuppie gets in there and locks the door, though, as a proper Bastard, you can probably find alternative places to relieve yourself. Alcoholic drinks raise the Drunkometer, which indicates several stages of drunkedness. Some of your Bastardly activities can only be carried out when you're fairly sober and others only when you are at pickled newt stage. To the right are the tasteful Fartometer and Smellometer scales. Eating anything builds up your fart power, press F when you've built up enough to release a truly fruity raspberry. The Smellometer represents your general body odour, which all Bastards keep as high as possible for maximum offence, and farting is one of the good ways to keep this high. However if all the levels are at the top at the same time Dire Consequences can result! In the centre are your Bastard Points. These go up and sometimes down depending on how Bastardly your actions are. Anything wimpy or girlie will lose you points. Underneath is the phrase COMPLETE-BASTARD. Extremely Bastardly activities that cause a guest to leave will light up a letter permanently, less Bastardly deeds may only light up a letter for a short period. To finish the game all Sixteen characters must be illuminated at one time. TO PLAY You must find objects by searching everything. You may carry a maximum of two objects. To search, get close to an object and turn to face it. While continuing to push in that direction with the joystick or keys, press FIRE. UP and DOWN allow you to select an option, FIRE to choose. Select further options this way and FIRE when you've finished. To examine the objects you are carrying press FIRE and look in your pockets. The only way to get rid of an object is to use it or put it outside in the dustbin. However, binning means you can't retrieve your object for further use. When you are carrying objects, options open up to you that were not available before, sometimes immediately. Sometimes you must find another object before you get further options and sometimes you need to corner a guest for a "chat" (well, even Bastards must circulate at parties). Some options will only be revealed when your alcoholic content is at the right level. You can only use your objects this way (i.e. through options offered), though you can examine your pockets at any time. To corner a guest you must rudely bump into them and block their way. Let's face it, it's the only way anyone would talk to you! Make sure you are in line with them and at the same level in the room. Use the lower section of the screen to help you track them down. Push or key towards them and press FIRE. A successful encounter will reveal their name and your possible options HINTS AND TIPS You must experiment with the objects you find; a true Bastard should have no trouble devising ways of using most household objects. Try using objects in both likely and unlikely places. Just like real life you do run the risk of killing yourself or getting locked away for a long time if you behave in a way that is more self destructive or psychopathic than Bastardly! Unlike real life though there is an unlimited supply of booze in the fridge at this party. There's also unlimited black coffee somewhere in the kitchen which will help you to sober up for the prank that needs a steady hand, not to mention the infinite pot of curry, any Bastard knows what that does. Do make sure you have searched everything in the room; use different views to check. You will have to make a map of Chez Yuppie as there are many rooms and areas not immediately apparent. Viewing rooms from all angles often reveals a doorway you cannot see from another direction. Some examples of Bastardly activities are managing to make a custard pie and completely ruining someone's wonderful party outfit that Daddy treated them to; they have to leave once you've done that. However, if you just put a flowerpot on their head they'll only leave for a short while. Messy things are very annoying to well-dressed types, and for some reason the boys hate being sprayed with anything girlie (though they're all girlies anyway as far as Ade's concerned). Use a particularly wholesome fart to clear the room for certain surprises you leave for people. Experiment with your drinking levels, some pranks need a stone cold sober Bastard and others require a very-pissed one! TO BE A COMPLETE BASTARD To load Tape LOAD "" and press RETURN Follow the on-screen instructions to select joystick type and keyboard and to start the game. Q = UP A = DOWN O = LEFT P = RIGHT SPACE = FIRE F = FART 1 = ROTATE VIEW IN TOP WINDOW 2 = ROTATE VIEW IN BOTTOM WINDOW G and ENTER = QUIT