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MEE-MAWW-MEE-MAW [screech]
Yes, officer? Can I help you?
Ah good evening sir.. Is this your vehicle?
Yes officer.
I see sir, and the fact that it is in fact a white converted Rover with blue flashy lights on the roof, and the word POLICE written along the front, back and sides of the vehicle are merely a fashion statement?
That's right officer.
It's not in fact, a stolen vehicle then?
Oh good grief officer, no.
So, what are my paper, hat and picture of my wife doing in the passenger seat then sir?
Umm... Erk..
Right sir..I'll need a few particulars... Name?
Blood.. Erm, Lee Tonks
Uh huh.. Age Sir?
25 officer..
Very good sir.. Now, could you tell me what are these two computers in the back seat?
Ah, well one is my first computer, a 16K rubber speccy which I'm afraid is dead. Power supply, y'see. The other is its replacement, a 48K rubber...
Rubber... Just writing this down sir... And these tapes?
That one is Thro' The Wall, my first game. Those ones are "Gobble A Ghost" and "Slippery Sid" - my first 2 games. And that one there is "Chaos". My fave!
Hmm.. This is all starting to sound a bit suspicious my lad. "Rubber", "Gobble", "Slippery".. Not looking good for you son.. Not good at all. I have reason to believe these are in fact indecent floppy disks cunningly encrypted so that only the person receiving it can use it.
Yes, very cunningly concealed... The floppy has disguised itself as a tape.
As I say sir. Genius. Right, if I could just have your address?
l.tonks@pindar-nospamplease-.com
Eh?
Oh, my WWW address? It's http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Lakes/6142/
What are you talking about? Never mind, we'll just make it up after we've beaten you up... Anything to say?
Yes! I helped out with the NVG catalogue 'cos I have a detailed map of NVG tattooed on my frontal lobes, and because Gerard tied me up and beat me with a lemon until I agreed to do so...
Ah.. So you admit to being a spy do you? And a perv too by the sounds of it.
You're not very good at this lark are you?
You what? No.. You're right.. I never wanted to be a policeman you see. I always wanted to be a lumberjack, leaping from tree to tree [fade as Monty Python sketch is ripped off for the umpteenth time]
Lee Tonks AKA Blood - l.tonks@pindar-nospamplease-.com - http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Lakes/6142/