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Good evening to you all, and thank you for joining us tonight on Mastermind. My first contestant, could you step up to the chair please? [lights dim]
[sound of much crashing about]. Oof! Oh, sorry mate, was that your foot? [CRASH]. Ooops. Was that TV camera very expensive? Sorry.
Oh for the love of God, can someone bring the lights up so this guy can make it to the chair without trashing the joint?!?! [lights come back on]
Ah.. Cheers... Sorry about that. Bit dark.
Hmm.. Yes... Let's move on shall we? Right... Your name is?
Jim Grimwood
Jim Grimwood, you have 60 seconds to answer as many questions on the subject of [looks at card] JIM GRIMWOOD?! Did you tamper with my cards?
Ermm..No? [blush].
Hmmm.. Well, we shall continue... How old is Jim Grimwood in the picture used of him on the NVG catalogue page?
Umm, 7 years younger than he was when he submitted the picture to Gerard Sweeney
Correct. What is his email address?
jimg@globalnet-deletethisbitofspamblocker-.co.uk
Correct. What was his first computer?
A 48K rubber.
Correct. How long did he have it?
One day. The memory was faulty and wouldn't load anything over 16K. The replacement is still going strong today.
Correct. What other models does he have?
An original 128k, plus 2nd-hand +2 and +3, all working
Correct. What was his first game?
First game purchased was The Hobbit. First completed was Atic Atac. Most obsessively played was Gyron. To date, he has completed 38 games.
Correct. What was his favourite game, and the status of it?
Favourite game was Heavy On The Magick, which was stolen [looks at camera]. I'll pay 10 pounds for an original replacement! Please!! Please!!!
Restrain yourself please
Please!!! I need it!! Give me my game!!! Please!!!! Have you got it? Eh? Yeah you! C'mere.. You look like the type of bloke who would nick a guy's game! [lunges for petrified audience member].
Security! [large blokes arrive with cattle prods].. BZZZZZ!!
Quite finished Mr Grimwood?
Yes, thanks. Ow...
Good.. Now, what are his favourite birds?
Well, Melissa Joan Hart is his favourite Demi-Godess while his favourite strumpet is Sabrina. Favourite sword-wielding, high-kicking, leather-clad fantasy babe would be Xena.
Well, yes.. I did actually mean the feathered variety.
Oh.. Magpie
Correct. Favourite country? After England?
Iceland.
Correct. His proudest moment?
Getting a special mention in the Your Sinclair news section for writing an extra-fast version of their Droid Wars competition program (which I've subsequently lost, darn it!); see Your Sinclair #4 (Apr.1986), page 9
Correct. And finally, do you have any other facts on Jim Grimwood that may earn you extra points?
I want your old Spectrum magazines! (well, Crash, Sinclair User, Your Spectrum/Sinclair, anyway). I'll exchange for other magazines or original Spectrum program tapes, or even pay real money as a last resort. All contributions will go towards the completion of the SPOT Database (Spectrum Oracle on Trumpton), which is building into a comprehensive reference index to all issues of the three major Sinclair Spectrum publications (plus Micro Adventurer, if anyone still has any of them). Issues indexed as of Nov.1997: 186 (54%); Subjects: 3,931; References: 15,473. OTHER INTERESTS: Cycling; walking long distances and living rough; comics old and new; movies; music, mostly classical, plus Kate Bush, Belinda Carlisle, early David Bowie, numerous others; fiction: Dickens, Lovecraft, Christie, Wurts, Donaldson, loads of others; lead a double life as a crime-fighting Mystery Man. AMBITION: To see at least one real live alien from another planet - and not just some wussy amoeba or lichen, either!
ZZZZZzzz.. Snort?! Eh? Wossat? Oh, you've finished. Congratulations Mr Grimwood, you scored maximum points, and have won the game as there are no other contestants.. I must ask the organiser why not? What was his name again? Ah, here it is.. Jim Grimwood?!.. Oi!! Come back here!
Lummocks! I've been rumbled! Better leg it!!
Jim Grimwood - jimg@globalnet-deletethisbitofspamblocker-.co.uk